One Step at a Time

For anyone not keeping track, Delilah is now 3 1/2 months old (What?)! I am aware that our summer as a whole family together is going to end in a month and a half. I am aware that there will be lots of changes to routines because of vacations, work, daycare, the fact that a baby changes every stinking day. I am aware that I am not in control of much of this. And I am coming to terms with that.

I am not the kind of person to just let things happen. Many would describe me as a type "A". I have pretty much planned much of my life up to this point. I knew what courses I wanted to take in college before starting. I knew when I wanted to get engaged, be married, have a house, have a child. I knew what I wanted to do professionally and planned the steps to get there. Every summer I plan out what lessons I want to teach and art projects I want to do with my students. Having a child washes that all out the window with one fell swoop. 

Last night Bryan and I decided we should put Delilah to sleep in her real crib. In her own room. By herself. Without me. I've been thinking about it for many weeks now. I thought I was mentally prepared. I didn't think it was going to be hard on me. I thought it would be hard on her. I kept coming up with excuses to put it off: She will be scared, she will not smell us (yes, I said "us" as in Bryan too, so it wasn't just for my sake), she will start wakening again in the middle of the night. 

Guess what? I nursed her, Bryan swaddled her and placed her down in the crib. She turned her head, eyes closed and pursed her cute bow lips already asleep. We both did a victory dance before returning to our room where we guess how many seconds or minutes it will be till she stirs and cries out. Nothing. As we lay down, I feel this sudden rush of emotion similar to when I went back to work the first day and Delilah went to daycare. It was awful. I confessed to Bryan that I am sad, scared and worried that she is all alone. Worst of all I had a terrible nightmare about me falling asleep while changing her, and woke up in my dream  with her undressed, diaper half on and crying because she was so cold. 

The only upside to the dream is that I was more than willing to jump out of bed to go soothe her. As expected she woke twice in the night, once at 12:30 and again at 4am, needing to be rocked back to sleep. I came in many more times between to put the paci back in her mouth as she stirred. Both things I haven't had to do in a few weeks when she was sleeping though the night in our room. Whether or not she really needed the paci replaced doesn't matter. It was I who needed to do it. 

Taking Care of Mom

I'm not sure if it is the season, the thrill of the school year ending or that the "fourth" trimester is now over. I am feeling more like my pre-mama self in regards to one of my favorite pastimes: Food! Eating it, cooking it, savoring it, looking at it, picking it out from barrels and shelves in the store, studying it, and planning around it.

It all started about two weeks into Delilah sleeping through the night. I woke up more refreshed, less tired during the day and hungry for cleaner, fresher food. This is a big deal as we went from friends and family bringing meals in Delilah's first month, to eating from the freezer section and mostly convenience foods and gradually working my way up to cooking two meals a week.

This week I spent a lot of time thinking about how I will start to introduce solids to Delilah and what I want her relationship with food to become. Delilah is only 3 months, and I don't plan on starting solids till at least 5 -6 months, but I am the type of person to obsess early. I am really into how French babies eat, and in turn, adults. I am encouraged by the lower rates of obesity and childhood behavior issues in France. A lot of that has to do with their Food Education. As a lover of food, I want to give my child the best experience possible.

So, I have been reading books, blogs and websites about the ways of French eating. My new favorite is French Foodie Baby. I have started to adapt my style of eating to the more structured yet nutritious and mindful ways of the French (4 course meals with a vegetable starter, main meal, salad and cheese course and dessert).  Sounds like a lot, but eaten in small portions and over a longer period of time is better for your health. Slow food is good food. In this case I am referring to how long it takes to eat rather than cook.  I am excited, too, to have meals with Delilah like this, teaching her to enjoy her food and really observe the sight, textures and smells.

I figure the best way to start her food education is by me eating a variety of foods and magically, through breastmilk, she will be introduced before the real food hits her mouth (or cheek as she will likely not get it in her mouth right away!).

So far this week we have had: Herbed Quinoa with Goat Cheese and Lemon Tilapia, Mango Chicken and Vegetables, Leek and Chive mini Quiches, Grilled Angus patties with grilled red potatoes, and Stuffed Rainbow Peppers with Turkey Sausage. In the next few days we will be having Risotto style Quinoa with Sauteed Wild Mushrooms and Summer Squash, Lamb and mint meatballs, and a Lentil Salad.
You see, taking care of mommy's nutrition in turn takes care of mommy's happiness and therefore, everyone is happy, including daddy!

The Three Month Shuffle

We all survived the first three months and I feel like awards need to be awarded!! Seriously, so many things have happened in such a short amount of time. Speaking of time, it has a brand new meaning to me. How many minutes does it take to pump, how many hours since she ate last, how long has she been napping? But also I can't believe what a completely different baby Delilah is from when she was born, one month, two months and even last week! Within the last month alone she has smiled, learned how to stick out her tongue and respond to others sticking out theirs, grab at anything and everything within reach including our shirts, her toys, my hair and tragically the nipple. She coos loudly in her angel fairy princess voice when she spots dad  or mom and even herself in the mirror. Even though she was a preemie and hitting the charts at 5/4/3 percent for weight/height/head circumference at her two month check-up, she is now in size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. Her legs and arms  have plumped up so deliciously that I can't not squeeze and poke them at every opportunity!  Amazingly she has been sleeping through the night for a week, going 8 hours before waking at 6am to eat for 15 minutes then snoozing an hour more before eating the rest of her breakfast. I'm so in  awe of her and how she grows. And I now know that those incredibly difficult early weeks when you bring baby home are just that-  the early weeks. Now is when the fun begins.