Pillow Wars

So nursing a preemie is hard enough. In the beginning a preemie's jaw muscles are very weak and as they are so sleepy, they have to be nudged to stay awake long enough to feed. After a few weeks, they get the hang of it, and even though my daughter is 5 weeks old, she is now the size of a typical newborn (i.e. small!).

Some sort of pillow to prop her up to me is necessary. I have two of the commercially marketed nursing pillows: the Boppy and My Breastfriend.

Boppy with Monkey Slipcover

My Brestfriend with Sunburst cover

While I own the Boppy with the monkey cover, I have a different cover than the Sunburst pictured above on the Brestfriend. However, this picture shows the two raised bumps better. On the right and left side of the top of the pillow are raised bumps that help position baby's head while nursing. I also use a pillow that came with the sofa.
It took awhile to figure out how to use these pillows best. The way models hold baby on the Boppy (directly in front of your belly) just wasn't working for me.  A neighbor told me about turning the Boppy so it hugs you around your side. This way, the baby's head rests on one end and your arm on the other. Genius! I was so ready to toss this pillow in the back of the closet. I figured out the Brestfriend on my own- it didn't take anything special other than using it. When I first received it, I stripped the cover off to wash and saw the disgusting foam that it is made of. Definitely not a material that is on my non-toxic list. So I did toss this one in the closet. (Okay, it never made it to the closet.  It stayed in a pile in the guest room). But before I found out how to use the Boppy, I tried the Brestfriend out of desperation when my regular bedroom pillow wasn't cutting it. Those little bumps are amazing! I was able to have her nurse and keep a hand free to hold onto a book, my water glass, rub my neck. This made up for the gross foam that I knew was underneath the cute cover. Plus, I had this sitting in the guest room for a few months, so some of those toxins had to have aired out by now.
As soon as we get into a groove with one of the pillows, that pillow stops "working" so I would switch.  I have found that depending on the baby's mood, the surface I am sitting on, and the position of the moon (seriously, I don't know why) these pillows don't always cut it. This is extremely annoying, especially in the middle of the night and when she is fussy during nursing. Up until now I nurse on the sofa during the day and in our bed during night. This has led to a lot of extra tension and strain in my neck and back as well as hip pain from sitting  criss-cross.

What I need is a rocking chair! Since my darling daughter arrived 5 weeks early, we hadn't settled on a nursing chair. It took until she was a month old for me to find and purchase one. Well, I found lots but they were all out of our price range. Last week, while rocking chair hunting online, I found one that I have been looking at for months for a whole lot less!

Sleepytime Rocking Chair in Taupe

This chair is made by Nurseryworks which is owned by Million Dollar Baby (MDB) (parent company of our Hudson crib which is made by Babyletto).  This chair is made in America and made with less toxic materials. This chair retails for $499. However, Walmart has some deal with MDB because they have a line called Baby Mod, which are the same products by Nurserworks and Babyletto under that name. So, last week I decided to check out Walmart's rocking chairs online. Lo and behold, here was my dream chair, entitled Baby Mod Rocker for the set price of $299!!! I waited a whole three hours till Bryan came home to order it. It came a week later (in a Nurseryworks box :0) and needs to be assembled. It is going to go in our bedroom for now because that's where Delilah sleeps and I enjoy a painless middle-of-the-night nursing session just as much as the next mom.

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps

You hear it from veteran moms all the time: Sleep when the baby sleeps. Easier said than done.
I heard it. I told everyone including myself that I would do it, no problem. This was before my husband injured himself, had emergency surgery, and is now in a cast with crutches = can't pick up the baby, bring me anything, change her, or get anything for himself. That means I have to do the laundry, the dishes, the meals, the cleaning (okay, I don't do too much cleaning/ my house is dirty), the nursing, the pumping, the all around baby care, and occasionally I take a shower. So, when the baby sleeps, that is my chance to actually eat something. It doesn't help when she is cluster feeding every one to two hours. Or decides that she can't sleep at night, but must keep soiling her diaper and eat, eat, eat.

During the day she permits me to put her in her swing for a short while or on the floor for tummy time. These activities don't typically last long, as she gets a whiff of me walking by and remembers that I am the milk factory and she could go for some of that right now. And, as a 3 week old whose lungs are now in full swing, she has figured out that the wailing she produces gets results. I remember nostalgically how her excuse for a cry in her first two weeks of life was so cute and squeaky. Now the only time I hear that cute squeak is if she is sleeping and having dreams about wanting more milk (I assume that is what she dreams about).

So, lesson to all mothers-to-be and new mommy's: Do not let your husband do anything remotely athletic or beyond normal cleaning around the house before and after the arrival of your new baby. And, try to sleep when the baby sleeps but don't expect too much. Baby is sleeping right now, and I chose to write here instead of taking a shower in fear she might wake up from the noise. After last nights wake-a-thon, she needs sleep just as much as I do!  Time to conquer my fear and not be quite so smelly.

A Labor of Love

For anyone who knows me, they have heard me preach how baby Briest will arrive earlier than her April 17th due date. This belief was met by a variety of reactions such as "No, first babies come late" and multiple eye rolls. Well, Delilah Poppy Briest had her own agenda and was born on Thursday, March 14th, 5 weeks early!

On Tuesday, I had my 34 week appointment. Baby's heartbeat sounded great, my blood pressure excellent, and the doctor showed us where she was laying (head down low, butt sticking out on my right side and limbs curled to my left). Up until this point I had been having mild braxton hicks, mostly when I was at work standing too much and not drinking enough water. They were not painful, only a little crampy. Wednesday, I checked myself out in the mirror and thought to myself, "Wow, my face is swollen! This must be because I am starting my ninth month." But it was really just the beginning of the end.

Around 7:30 that night, my water broke. I wasn't even sure it had, I only had a little drip. I also had no idea I had been in labor that day, mistaking the faint contractions for braxton hicks. I barely felt them, even on the way to the hospital. After calling my doctor, who told me to go to the hospital just to be on the safe side (because it was so early), Bryan and I packed a bag and made our way to Sinai Hospital in Baltimore. Yes, we packed a bag, because that was on the to-do list for the weekend. Also on that list, interviewing the pediatrician on Friday. Yea, right.

When we got to the hospital after 9pm, the triage was full so they took us to a Labor and Delivery room to be examined by the resident OB. Normally, you go to triage first and only if you are admitted do you go to L and D.  Apparently lots of babies wanted to be born that day because they were jam packed with moms to be. After putting baby and I on monitors the OB came in to do the "q-tip" test which if it turns blue, it means your membrane ruptured (I.E. water broke). Finding out I was only 35 weeks with no complications all pregnancy, the OB casually told us about the test with an air of "this is not going to be blue." Well, it came out Prussian Blue- like darkest of dark blue. Her eyes were wide with shock before saying, "You are staying. You are going to have a baby tonight or tomorrow."  At this point I was also 3 cm dilated, which is when hospitals will normally admit you.

Because my water broke, they had to give me pitocin to bring the contractions on. The danger in your water breaking and letting contractions happen on their own is the risk of infection as the mucus plug is no longer protecting the baby from the outside world. Not to mention that the amniotic fluid was lower due to the breakage.

This was all fine and well until the baby's heart rate was plummeting during contractions in the early hours of Thursday.   This happened a few times, which caused the nurse to come and shift my body around till the baby settled. The last time it happened was around 7 in the morning. A team of people came swarming in the room. Up until now, only one or two people would be in to check on me. There was talk of a C-section and orders for prepping the OR were given. Paperwork was pushed in front of me. If the baby's heart rate did not get steady, we were going for an emergency C-section. Bryan was given directions and clothes for the OR. I was currently 6 cm and crying. Not because I didn't want a C-section. I wanted whatever was best for the baby and I wanted her to be okay. In my head I was screaming, well let's get her out then! My OB said it was all ready to go, but lets just watch her for a few minutes after taking me off pitocin to see if she would recover before going into major surgery. So they left and monitored us from their computer. I actually dozed for a half hour. An hour after this madness, I paged the nurse because I felt so much pressure. The resident OB came in to check me. Low and behold, I had gone from 6 cm to 10 cm in one hour, and baby was at +1.

I was allowed to push, but with restrictions. Because of her struggling heart rate, I was to push on some contractions, not all. They watched the monitors carefully to assess when it was okay for her. This meant 2 hours from when I started till she was born. Sounds like a lot, but it was only some of the time I was actually pushing. The NICU was in the room when she was born as she was a preemie  I think Delilah shocked everyone. Her AGPAR score was a 9 (out of 10) and she was checked over to be fine. I got to hold her before they swept her off to the nursery while I recovered.

The best part of having Delilah at 35 weeks is that I didn't have time to get worried about what labor would be like. I wasn't expecting her to come till closer to 37 or 38 weeks. I thought I had at least another week before I would work up a sweat about L and D.

Delilah is now 3 weeks old, eating all the time, and a pro at tummy time. Now, if she would only sleep a little longer in between nursing sessions.....

Lullaby Earth

From the generosity of my wonderful school who threw a beautiful baby shower, I was gifted enough gift cards to purchase my dream crib mattress! Crib Mattresses come in all price ranges with various labels and promises of safety. I believe they are generally all safe in regards to being firm and fitting the crib, both important for SIDS and the general health of baby. However, what they are made out of is another story.

Often crib mattresses claim they are "Green" or "Eco" because they contain a small percent of organic cotton or material from plants or soy inside. The key word is small. Worse, they are treated with chemical additives because it is cheaper.  On the outside, these types of mattresses are wrapped in a plastic vinyl material that emits toxic chemicals harmful to a growing baby. As a baby spends most of its first year sleeping, this is a big deal. Not to mention, we got a crib that will convert to a toddler bed, so this mattress will last our little girl a few years!

I always knew that we wouldn't be able to afford a naturepedic crib mattress. Starting at $260, it was just too steep a price for our small teacher salaries. I toyed with the idea, that I would use gift cards and pay the difference, or ask a bunch of people to go in on that one gift as a shower present. In fact, if I didn't find the Lullaby Earth Crib Mattress, I probably would have paid the difference after gift cards. Lullaby Earth is actually made by Naturepedic. The only difference is the inside is made with cotton, not organic cotton like the true Naturepedic varieties.  And as the exterior of the mattress is what baby actually sleeps on and touches, the inside being made with 100% cotton is good enough. 

Here is a little information from the Lulllaby Earth website about what the mattress is made out of: 

Even in very small amounts, chemicals can have a negative effect on a baby's development. The Lullaby Earth baby crib mattress was designed to be free from harmful chemicals and allergens. Unlike most crib mattresses, Lullaby Earth mattresses are completely free of polyurethane foam (including "soybean" foam blends), vinyl/PVC, polyurethane coated nylon or damask, PFC water-resistant treatments, antibacterial biocides and the various chemicals associated with these materials. Fire protection is achieved with hydrated silica, a harmless natural mineral. 

Tested for Chemical Emissions The Lullaby Earth crib mattress has been tested by independent third-party laboratories and certified according to the GREENGUARD® Children & Schools Certification Program. Lullaby Earth has also achieved GREENGUARD "Select" Certification, meeting an even more stringent standard

If I hadn't gotten enough giftcards and wasn't able to spend the money on this mattress, I would try and find a mattress without vinyl on the outside (so probably it would not be waterproof) from amazon or babiesrus (good luck). Hopefully it wouldn't be filled with polyurethane.  I would buy it as early as I could, let it "air out" and cover it in a naturepedic mattress cover which is around $60. This is a good option because that pad comes closest to baby.

It is comforting to know that the materials in the Lullaby Earth are safe for baby. A Bonus: it is made in the USA!! And finally, upon opening my brand new crib mattress, it does not smell (and this is coming from a pregnant woman)! 

The Final Countdown....

I am convinced that the reason we have pregnancy brain/ mom brain is so that we can't remember how awful the third trimester is. Pregnancy brain is really just mom brain in training. Because if I can remember the physical aliments of right now, I am not sure I would rush off to do it again. Of course, ask me in a few months, a year, or five years. But I want to get this out there before my brain sneakily hides this information from me!

Last week I had my first trip to the hospital, at 32 weeks, which is way too early for this bambino to come out and play. I started having contractions after a day of cramps that got worse, spreading from my lower abdomen into my thighs and my lower back. A call to the doctor, and I was sent to the hospital to rule out pre-term labor.

Now, I know I have been preaching how I want this baby to come earlier than her due date, but I didn't mean that early!!! And yes, I want all these leg cramps, bathroom trips, unending hunger pains and heartburn adventures to end. But now that I had that little taste of what if she is coming NOW, I feel like nothing is really ready!!!! She can't come because look at the pile of clothes that have to be washed. The floor boards have to be wiped. Fix that darn sink! Get that table out of my house. Hang (and purchase) those curtains. Write your sub plans and clean your classroom for the nice lady who is coming to be you for three months (thank you nice lady!). OH, and finish your homework for the three classes you took, knowing full well you would be in your third trimester.

The drive to the hospital took us 50 minutes, including getting gas. Not bad. Trying to navigate through a crowded parking lot while having to release your bladder after that long of a trip- really bad. I could hear myself being nasty with Bryan even though it was not his fault all the parking spots were full. At least I noted to myself that I was doing it, and that I should try not to. So once I was out of the car and waddling to the entrance, I calmly pointed out the route for Labor and Delivery and how he would need to proceed there in the future (you know, the part six feet away from the door with loads of parking spaces!)

The registration process took almost an hour, even though my doctor called ahead.  The lady registering us did ask if I was okay enough to do it, though. It is nice to know that if I was really far into labor they would rush us and take care of the business later.  By the time we were put into a room and I changed into the lovely hospital gown (really, they call it a gown. Why?) my uterus stopped contracting. The cramping stopped a little while later. The nurse told us that the rooms there were special, causing contractions to stop all the time.

I had two monitors put on my belly, one for the now non-existent contractions and one to listen to the baby's heartbeat, which was perfect. My blood pressure was great, no fever, urine test showed I had plenty of water. And after an hour of this, an exam revealed my cervix is still closed and there are no infections down there. Go home.

All in all, I am glad and relieved we went to the hospital. I know she is okay, that I am okay, that I have cramps that are normal, and that I will be having a baby girl sometime soon. Who by the way, is possibly going to be an Olympian based on her non stop ricochets off my uterus walls, all the time. I don't think she sleeps. 

The Nursery Diaries: Part Three

It's official. This baby room is the best room in the house. It is the only space that has been redone floor to ceiling. I love these brand new Pergo floors! They were the best we could afford and I feel good about having them in the baby's room.  Bryan did such a great job putting them in! 

Now all that is left to do is to retouch some of the painting, install the window treatments, set up the crib and dresser, and bring baby home:)

I already got a head start on her wardrobe:

The Second Trimester Rocks

Before becoming pregnant and even through the first and second trimester I just didn't get why every person I spoke to, magazine or article I read glorified the second trimester. And then I entered my third trimester and my eyes are now WIDE open. Oh My BNSGHTHSTHGVCD!!!! The woes, the pains, and I am still 11 weeks to due date! (10 weeks, 2 days...but whose counting?)

My first trimester is sort of a blur. I was really lucky not to have morning sickness. I had a few hormone induced pimples and mood swings, and I was tired. I remember thinking if this is how tired I am, how would I ever be able to be pregnant again while raising my first child? But, honey, I didn't know what tired is.

So I thought it can't get worse. It got worse. But not before it got better. When I was in my second trimester I didn't realize I wasn't so tired. The first and second trimester  you have so many exciting things: passing countless blood tests, ultrasounds at 8, 13, and 20 weeks, milestones- first visible bump (the one that is actually baby, not just bloating), first flutterings and then full on bladder punch (the first time is cute, really). My uterus moved up so I didn't have to use the bathroom all the time. I slept through the night, mostly. No more pimples, thicker hair, glowing skin. A cute, perfect sized bump. And when you enter the second trimester you are ready to share the wonderful news with everyone, so you are always being congratulated and asked how you feel.

As soon as I hit the third trimester, the wave of exhaustion hit me like a bus going 60 mph. I read and heard about swelling in your feet and legs. Wow, who knew your legs could look so much like logs? They can. (Solution so far: bought ankle socks so as not to cut off circulation, or at least not see the line left from my socks where the width of my leg is really suppose to be). Also, what is up with the return of pimples from the first trimester? Oh and the return of really weird dreams, insomnia wakings at 2 am, countless trips to the bathroom- all day and night, and this hunger- I need food all the time, right now, and in 20 minutes. What about that "mom brain?"  And to cap it all off, incredibly itchy skin everywhere and places I didn't know could itch. Did I mention I am tired all the time, like this morning I woke up at 1:30 am.

What's worst then all that you might ask?  The level of stress I didn't experience before. In the first trimester you are just focused on the baby being okay, that you don't miscarry or anything terrible comes up from your blood tests. The second trimester you are mostly relieved (though still a little worried because a baby can miscarry even then) and still feel like you have time to get everything ready. Enter the third trimester, and suddenly, the baby is coming, really soon. You have no time. Bryan, get the floor done, put the crib together, buy this, yell at your husband for no real reason, get your paperwork in, HURRY UP!!!!!!

But you know what? No matter how tired I am, stressed out,  how itchy and red from scratching, or extremely hungry, every time my amazing baby girl nudges, kicks, or shakes her booty causing my stomach to jump, stretch, and appear like there is an alien ready to come out through the skin, I get immediately calm and happy. A smile stretches over my face and I can't help but love her more. I even giggle a little because it is just so darn cute when I go to lay down and she wants to practice her reflexes on my organs and ribs. Seriously, I am giggling as I go to bed. And even when I wake up in the middle night and feel her stir, I am so happy she is there. That pretty much excuses everything else- although it doesn't help with my sleepiness. Thankfully I work with kids, and they are forgiving people. They don't mind if I yawn, sit down for a minute, and possibly stare at them for a few seconds without saying anything. You know, because I forgot what I was going to say.